


Panic

by brahe



Series: i had something to do with it, too [3]
Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: M/M, Minor Spoilers, Near Death, Star Trek: Into Darkness, i thought this was longer, jim has a lot of feelings, oh well, planetoid coda, yeah it's that part with the torpedo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-18
Updated: 2014-12-18
Packaged: 2018-03-02 02:42:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2796704
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/brahe/pseuds/brahe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jim panics when Bones' arm gets stuck in the torpedo.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Panic

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this a while back and thought I posted it, but I didn't so here it is. Enjoy some feelings. There are many.

Jim has never been so afraid in his entire life. He can hear the counting down of the bomb, he can hear Carol trying to disarm it, he can hear Bones breathing. _Bones is breathing_ he tells himself. _But for how much longer?_ Time speeds up and slows down and Jim's head is spinning. It's not supposed to end like this. He promised Bones he'd keep him safe. Now, Bones was going to die because of him. As the clock gets closer to zero, he leaps out of his chair. There so much he wants to say, needs to say _right now_ , but he can't find the breath to speak his mind, can't find the words to articulate what he needs to say. He's not getting enough air, his vision is spotty and he's having a hard time not swaying where he stands. His heart feels like it's going to beat out of his chest and now he's shaking, vibrating in fear and panic.

When Carol finally _finally_ disarms the bomb, Jim stumbles forward in overwhelming relief, catching himself on the helm. _Bones is alive, he's alive, he's breathing_. Uhura puts a reassuring hand in his arm and he turns to look at her. Understanding is written in her features and she looks at Jim with compassion. "He's alive, he's fine," she whispers to him and Jim wants to cry. It's all too much too quick. Uhura must be able to see that in his face because in the next second she's got her arms around him and his face is buried in her neck and she's rubbing his back and telling him to breath because _it's okay, it's alright_. He realizes he's crying when she lets him go, gently wiping the tears from his cheeks as she smiled gently at him. He wants to ask her how she knows, if it's that obvious, how she can deal with this on what seems like a daily occasion, but sound comes crashing back to him and all the sudden he can hear the crew around him and the hum of his ship and Bones. _Bones._ Bones is calling his name, he can hear it now, and the doctor sounds concerned.

"Bones," Jim manages, his voice raw and thick with emotion. Jim doesn't understand why he's so strung out but then he remembers that Bones was a second away from not existing anymore and he's trying not to freak out again.

"Jim? Jesus christ-Jim? Can you hear me?" Bones is calling his name again and he's trying to respond but it's all too much again and part of Jim is mad because he's the Captain, dammit, he shouldn't be getting this worked up, but the other part reminds him over and over _in vivid detail_ what just happened and that side wins. All he manages is a small noise. "Someone get him to the transporter room. Scotty, beam me up, and someone else come down and help Carol with this," Bones says and then Uhura's arms are around him again and she's leading him off the bridge and down the halls.

"You need to breathe, sweetheart," Uhura is telling him, and he kind of wants to cry about that because when his mom was having a good day she'd call him sweetheart and _what is happening to him_ he needs to get out of his head. He makes an effort to take large, slow breaths and begins to calm himself down. He wants to thank his communications officer because she's absolutely perfect about this and with him, but the words are stuck in his throat. Instead, he stops and hugs her again. Their eyes are both little wet when they walk into the transporter room, but it's empty aside from Scotty, who knows better than to say anything. Bones is in the room in the next second, and Jim is on him in a minute, wrapping his arms around his neck and legs around his waist. Bones takes a step back in surprise, but his arms are around Jim instantly and he runs a hand through Jim's hair as a comfort.

"Hey, hey, darlin', it's alright, I'm okay, it's fine," Bones whispers to him, his accent thick and curling around him like a blanket. Jim is crying again, this time out of relief. _Bones is here, he's real, he's safe_ , he tells himself, and he believes it because he can feel the reassuring warmth of Bones' body pressed up against his and he can breathe again. "I love you, darlin'," Bones says and Jim makes a noise, tightening his arms around his doctor. Bones presses a kiss to Jim's temple, the soothing, Southern reassurances still being mumbled into his hair. Jim finally picks his head up and stares at Bones, his gaze flicking all across his face from his eyes to his hair to his nose.

"I love you," Jim whispers and Bones almost cries. It's the first time Jim's said it, even though Bones has known for a while, and the way his voice cracks puts matching cracks in Bones' heart. He tightens his arms around Jim and kisses him gently. "I love you," Jim says again, and his heart is pounding. There's a lot of meaning behind those words to him, but it's the truth and he needs to say it. Bones' arms around him feels a lot like home and while that scares him a little, it also excites him because he's finally got a home. He's not crying anymore, and this time the emotional overload causes him to laugh, honest and true, because Bones is safe and alive and now he knows _for a fact_ how Jim feels and it's such a relief that he just laughs.

"You alright now, darlin'?" Bones asks and Jim beams.

"I've never been better."


End file.
